Summertime and the living is........

Summertime and I’m feeling good – I’ve got three weeks off work. But summer brings crowds. I’ve never liked crowds, I gave up serious surfing because of crowds....and maybe because of drugs and alcohol as well.

The worst days of all are Sundays when the sun is out.  Because as soon as the sun comes out, out come people like blowflies. Wide-eyed and guffawing – not that blowflies guffaw but you get my drift.

I try to ensure I’m not out between midday and 6pm on these days. Boneheads on motorbikes, families in Camrys and ugly groups of fat guys on bicycles who think they look pretty in their gay, tight riding gear.

There’s something about Sunday suburbia that makes me sick – maybe it's because I’m faced with the pointlessness of things head on and in the glaring, revelatory summer sunlight.

A host of human beings who even though they’re wearing colourful uniforms, remind me of those black caterpillars that mass together in trees, all entwined, writhing and spitting.

Life is an illusion and it can be an ugly one at that – it’s full of bad actors. Death is far more real – at least the acting stops. Not that I want to die – not today anyway.

A little self-medication, sex and music get me through. A song like Teenage Fanclub’s “Ain’t that enough” is sweet and beautiful and as medicinally powerful as seven gins.

Why do people do it? Hee-haw about in crowds. Maybe it’s a mating thing. In my experience, the best things are found in shadows and darkness and anyway, old people who aren’t looking for mates are out there too.

Apart from not understanding my fellow human beings, I’m feeling good and enjoying being away from the race of rats. Fish are jumping and I’m feeling high – now there’s a pathetically corny line.